Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Things to do before I die
(in a fiery motorcycle crash at age 25 or of natural causes in some old-age home somewhere), Part 1:
1) Jump out of a plane. Preferably with a parachute.
2) Own a manly dog. Not the little yippy kind. A real man's dog. Like a husky (but my girly accomodation is that it must have a tail that curls up in the back. That is the cutest thing in the world! Oh I am such a walking sterotype!).
3) Do 100 clap push-ups in a row. And have more than one male be impressed by this.
4) Do some more stuff with a girl. But she has to be girl-bullshit-free, and cool and really relaxed. And hot.
5) Have a threesome. Two girls and a guy, or two guys and a girl. I don't care. But no drinking or drugs allowed.
6) Take ecstacy. Then learn to spell the word without second-guessing myself.
7) Learn to speak Chinese for real. Written and spoken. One or more dialects.
8) Have someone tell me I'm a good kisser and a good dancer. Or maybe good at doing both at once. That'll be the day!
9) Get rugged. Really rugged. Tough enough not to care about warmth, regular meals, and rest time. Tough enough to not complain while climbing mountains.
10) Spend a good chunk of my life with someone who really gets me.
11) Make a point of really getting someone else.
12) Take care of my parents instead of dropping them in a retirement home until they waste away.
13) Go hang-gliding.
14) Be really inspired for a lengthy period of time without drugs to help me out.
15) Take revenge on the Romanians. It must involve emasculation, preferably leading to begging for mercy and admitting to gross moral indencencies.
16) Ensure I am always valued for my mind before my body.
17) Go dog-sledding.
18) Read even a small portion of the books on my "to read" list.
19) Stop allowing people to tell me I'm lame for having a "to read" list.
20) Cease hesitating before I let people know I really truly care about them.
21) Tell off the teachers who were mean to me in grade school.
22) Tell the nice teachers how truly nice they really were.
23) Meet a few extraordinary people, and tell them how extraordinary they are. Be sober when I do this so they'll believe me.
24) Learn to bake a decent pie.
25) Go rockclimbing and not be scared.
26) Refuse to be satisfied by trite compliments and superficial assessments of value.
27) Glare at people who stare at me on the bus.
28) Tell someone to their face that they're a lying sack of shit, know that it's true, and never regret having said it.
29) Make a few more reconciliations.
This is only part 1.
I'm off to a tap-dancing recital that my mom's best friend is in. One of the many odd things about me is that I truly, unironically enjoy tap-dancing.
Odd, I suppose.
-N
