Thursday, May 12, 2005
"dignified in what she does
when she sings the smile that she brings to all of you
unaware of what's to come
I said tell me
what's to come
green is the color of my envy
it's the color of fame
so I'm gonna write it down
to scream it out
and I'm never gonna be the same
clever in what she does competing for the attention
of those people that you know
my whole life revolves around
your absence until I can't remember
what I was or what I am
who I know or what I know
or where I go
every moment was that moment
every day was that day
every second was that second
and I've lost myself again...
I am my angel 'til death I do
I saw my first angel and it was you."
-Tegan & Sara - Superstar
Okay. You don't have to like or understand Tegan & Sara in order to read my blog, but if you get Tegan & Sara it will tell you a hell of a lot about me.
I just got an email from the Boy that made me cry. I was told I could quote it so I will.
I am the cat:
i feel like this one time that i met a cat. the cat Yep. Cried. On my keyboard. Really attractive. Please, sleep with me.
wasn't really forlorn or anything like that, but
wasn't looking particularly pleased with life either.
i said my hellos and held my hand up for a sniff and
then gave it a pat, and then it went from there to
full on cuddles. after awhile the critter kind of
wanted to go about its business, and maybe i was
getting a bit restless from holding this cat as well,
but the cuddles were really damn good and when the cat
was purry it was like the bestest thing ever.
but i had to put the kitty back on the grass and watch
it walk away and even though i knew that holding on
would mean squirming which would mean that i would
need to hold on even tighter for more squirming and
eventually claws, i must admit that i was at the very
least a little bit distressed to see that cat go about
cuz damn if that kitten wasn't all cute and warm and
It was just so like him to write such a funny little anecdote. And I got it, though I'm not sure that anyone else will.
Work was good again today, except that I was WAY too tired since I stayed up late last night reading the latest book I borrowed from the store. It's called Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach, and it's fantastic so far. Don't be turned off by the content. Yes, it's a book about dead bodies, but the writing is really sharp and the approach to the subject matter is surprisingly humanistic. It is also one of the most unique books I have ever picked up, which is rare. Most things have been done before, at least twice.
How much do I wish I could tell you I was tired at work today because I stayed up late drinking my face off and having kinky sex!? But that would be a huge lie. The best I can come up with that I was absorbed in a book about death. HUGE NERD? *raises hand eagerly* RIGHT HERE!
I am also intensely irritated by the whole concept of gift wrapping. At times it's kind of fun in an anal sort of way, but when there is a huge lineup and the customer I'm wrapping for is standing there watching my every move, it is downright stressful. I actually wrapped a package today and put on the ribbon and everything and then realised "SHIT! I left the price tags on!" Except I couldn't even say "SHIT!" All I could do was unwrap the fucking thing and start over. Oh joy!
Every day I wish that another straight girl in the world could be bi. But that is neither here nor there, and may or may not reflect my attitude towards certain people I may or may not work with.
The other thing I have discovered is why they call 40 hours a week FULL TIME employment. Because it fills up your time! I have NO time! No time to read, no time to watch movies, no time to go to the gyme (which is really crap), no time to go out and get drunk, no time to do anything but work, come home, eat, sleep, work, come home, eat, sleep, work.
Except that is really not true. If I was a real keener I could schedule things I wanted to do for an hour here and there. That will just take some (perhaps a lot!) of getting used to.
And I also need a shower at the end of the day, which is really unfortunate. I hate that feeling of sweat and credit card and kid germs all over me. It's not like being coated in motor oil and transmission fluid, but it is mildly unpleasant.
I gave a cute little 5-year-old boy a free karate belt from the freebies bin today and he tied it around his waist and grinned and said "thank you for the karate belt!!" It was SOOOO cute!
I am looking forward to dinner and CSI tonight in a big way. And then I am actually going to go to bed. Unfortunate, I know, but I don't have much of a choice in the matter. Selling books to children when I'm totally exhausted is horrible. Picture saying in a pleasant-yet-not-chirpy voice "hi, how are you today," messing about with the computer for several minutes, scanning cards and printing receipts, discussing books and patting kids' heads, then saying something like "enjoy, thanks, bye, see you later!" in aforementioned plesant voice. Easy, right? Now do it 500 times in 8 hours. I am not exaggerating. This is our average number of transactions per day, and I am often the only cashier working. When I'm tired it is dreadful!
Less than a week ago I was desperate for Valium. Now I just want uppers and more uppers. Yay for stimulants. May they never fail me.
Oh, and I'm not pregnant, which is good. Really good. I wasn't really worrying, it's just that shit like that tends to happen at the worst of times.
Last chance: patrons must participate in poll in order to receive cool prizes!
Perhaps more later if I am still conscious.