Monday, May 09, 2005
sick and sad
I feel so bloody ill and alone right now.
I'd like nothing more than to just curl up with my Boy and forget about it all, but he is gone forever and there's nothing I can do about it.
I don't want to tutor, I don't want to go to my ceramics class, I don't want to have dinner with family friends, I don't want to go stunting, and I don't want to go to work. Fuck the whole thing.
I can't even get up the energy to go shower.
And I have to leave in an hour for tutoring. I hate having to constantly pull myself together and pretend that I don't wish I was at home in bed in some kind of semi-conscious oblivion.
Life sucks.
So lonely.
Such a fucking coward.
-N
