Wednesday, February 02, 2005
strange and mundane facts about the Nome
I just got one simple suggestion
Forsake the answer
Rename the question
What lies deep enough not to be mentioned
should be brought to the top to be spoken
even though you may have been real heartbroken
feel like your brain and your blood's been soaking
in a pool of regret
you just haven't gone for your truth yet...right?
I resolve to find the truth
Speak words that carry
I resolve to find the truth
Speak words that free me.
-Kinnie Starr
I went and did something a little bit wild today. I may or may not post pictures of it. It was time for a change, I guess. It has resulted in compliments, strange looks, stares, and assorted comments all day. Cool.
Went to capoeira again tonight. I really wanted to go to the Tegan & Sara concert downtown, but no one wanted to go with me. That's pretty ridiculously sad. Everyone I know who likes them is out of town. Fuck that. Their concerts are awesome too. The last one was the best drug-free time I'd had in ages.
Instead I went to class and knocked myself out a bit. We did 5 sets of 80 reps of different kinds of crunches...so I guess I did about 400 in total. Whee! Then the teacher, who calls himself Superman (and he is exactly as egotistical as the choice of name implies), came around to each person and said "flex," and then walked across our stomachs. Oddly enough, that felt better than the crunches. Superman told us to stop doing crunches ONLY if we thought we were going to puke, which I guess was considerate of him. I guess.
I was planning on copying out a poem in here from when I was younger and used to write poetry, before I decided my poems were all terrible and stopped writing altogether. But when I started to read them over, I realised that they were even worse than I thought they were, so I've abandoned the idea. Instead I will assail you with random facts about myself that are of no relevance to my mood or any events from my day.
I sometimes feel that I am ridiculously short of talent. I can write essays. This I have always been good at. But everything else is a constant struggle. I have no natural aptitude for sports and thus everything I try must be painstakingly learned from scratch. I mix up left and right limbs, bail on difficult stuff, and I am not a team player.
I don't do well with authority. Superman made us do 40 push-ups in class today for no better reason than that to punish us for not understanding his clear-as-mud instructions, and my instinctive reaction was to yell "WHY?" (he ignored me) and then mutter about which orifice I thought he could stick his power trip before dropping and giving him 40. Probably as a result of my alternative school upbringing, I am unwilling and usually unable to refer to people as Ma'am, Sir, Mister, Mrs., Miss, or Professor. I avoid these titles wherever possible.
I have a nasty habit of saying exactly what I think when it's least appropriate. Expressions like "fuck, this is lame," or "okay already" are pretty much staples of my vocabulary. I am alternately too friendly and too distant with people. I sometimes decide I don't like someone the moment I meet them, and I leave it up to their discretion to prove themselves to me.
I listen to music on the bus, while walking to class, while walking on campus, while heading downtown, in the library, while making photocopies, while using school computers, and while doing homework at school. I usually do it just as much to avoid talking to people as I do because I enjoy it. I frequently try to drown out people's conversations and the din of dozens of people speaking at the same time. I am a big believer in headphones as an alternate form of earplugs.
I pay very little attention to the bus drivers who ferry me back and forth across the city almost every day. Most of the time I don't even remember what they look like.
I never, ever cross picket lines. The one time I had to cross a T.A. strike line to hand in a paper my mother actually cried as she dropped me off. There is a picture of me as a baby wearing a t-shirt that reads "No Nukes." I was taken on peace marches before I was even born.
I love Chinatown. Not the movie, the place. I can just tell the difference between Cantonese and Mandarin. Unless someone else points is out, I rarely notice when I am the only white person in a group of Asians. I was one of three non-Asians in my Grade 12 English class, but didn't realise it until just before the provincial exams.
I have always wanted to be in a band. I think it would be fantastic to be the lead singer in a band full of guys.
I am rarely intimidated by playing sports, getting drunk, going travelling, or hanging out with a group of men I am not romantically or sexually involved with.
My parents were hippies.
I love the Harry Potter books. Hermione Granger is my role model and hero.
I am okay with violent movies, video games, and music. But I don't plan to show them to my kids before they're old enough. I saw Pulp Fiction for the first time on my 12th birthday. At the time it was the most violent movie I had ever seen. It scared me off heroin, probably for life. Who says Tarantino doesn't set a good example for impressionable young kids?
I learned the word 'fuck' when I was eight years old and have been using it ever since. It is one of my favourite words in the English language. I never say it around my parents, my aunts, professors, teachers, some of my adult friends, my boyfriend's parents, my friends' parents, and my Christian cousins. My little brother tells my parents to fuck off regularly.
I buy a lot of highlighters.
I started smoking pot when I was 12 years old. I stopped for a year, then did it sporadically. Then I went to Switzerland and got high most weekends. I have never payed a cent for it. I have never tried any other illegal drug. In Grade 12 I took caffeine pills on a semi-regular basis. I failed a math exam after taking too many, and never took one again.
I sincerely hope that Spongebob Squarepants is gay. Feeding the arsenals of ludicrously conservative people is hilarious. Focus on the Family makes me physically ill.
I would make a lousy Communist.
It is time for bed.
That was fun.
-N
