Saturday, June 25, 2005

I am a gift

Sometimes my mind don’t shake and shift
But most of the time, it does
And I get to the place where I’m begging for a lift
Or I’ll drown in the wonders and the was
And I’ll be your girl, if you say it’s a gift
And you give me some more of your drugs
Yeah, I’ll be your pet, if you just tell me it’s a gift
Cuz I’m tired of whys, choking on whys,
I just need a little because, because
-Fiona Apple - Fast As You Can

I have decided that all I want from sex is to know that it is taken as a gift. I might even be inclined to use words like 'honour,' and 'privilege.' I can no longer think of giving my body to someone as anything less than a major transaction in which no money changes hands. There is casual sex, and then there is casual sex. One involves a modicum of respect, and the other... well, the other I simply want no part of. When I was 17 years young I thought that sex would be horrible without love -- actual binding, intimate love. Needless to say I don't think that anymore. Now I know better.

But I have stopped to consider the fact that the word 'intimate' is very close to the word 'intimidate.' That explains big pieces of the way my life has been going lately. I always try for one and get the other by mistake.

Now all I want is to not be used up and thrown away. A little respect would be nice.

Nothing has happened to mark this epiphany. Don't be getting out your shotguns and yelled "get off my lawn," and taking down addresses and writing down names just yet.

It's just another realization that came to me in the shower.

I get all my greatest ideas in the shower.




by Nome at 1:26 AM
0 mews

    Welcome. This is the humble chronicle of my life & my thoughts on the world as I see it. If you know me in real life and want to keep my trust, PLEASE ASK BEFORE READING! I'm not accountable to you or to anyone else for what I say in these pages. Comments are much appreciated, but but insults and personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please respect privacy and anonymity - nicknames or pseudonyms only. This is my space to be an adult - kids should go elsewhere. Thanks, and enjoy.

    About The Nome
    Nome is where the heart is
    I Will Not Be Silenced


Other Witty And Wonderful Creations

    referer referrer referers referrers http_referer