Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Nome = Bleedheart
That would have been my name if I had been alive during that ridiculous circus of 13th century Scotland that was the setting for Mel Gibson's ludicrous epic Braveheart. And I'll tell you why.
I wish I was that big orange cat right now. He hasn't a care in the world.
First of all, is there anyone out there who doesn't think that this little bit of self-indulgent nonsense is anything other than a really, really shitty idea? [pun intended]
Many thanks to Koko for the link.
It seems like a good time to tell you all to go encourage an up-and-coming blogger, Ms. Curlz of the illustrious NYC. She's become a dear friend to me, but she's also really a rather good writer, so I thought I'd direct those of you who appreciate good writing her way. I love this post for its sensitivity and sensual descriptions. It really made me feel, and it's written in a style that's somehow both particularly subtle and intense. I know Purple Owl will like it, because it reminds me ever so slightly of her piece called No One Should See. That link doesn't open properly for me, and if it doesn't work for you either you might try just scrolling down on the main page of her blog here.
I'm feeling kind of ill-at-ease this morning. I blame it partly on an insanely bad migraine I got last night, which was probably the result of too much wine and bright September sun and nothing to eat all day. I took one of my scary turbo migraine pills and the headache went away, but it left me with this dull throbbing pressure behind my eyes and a slightly dizzy feeling. I had a lousy sleep and I woke up feeling dizzier than when I'd gone to bed.
I also felt vaguely frustrated and disappointed, and this continues to linger. The girl I went out with yesterday both emailed me and sent me a text message last night, saying among other things:
"I had so much fun today. your thoughtfulness really touched me. thank you. there was a little bit of everything today -- goofyness, heart, laughter, conversation, kite flying... i think the only thing missing was a big purple bow to tie around it all [although your toes made up for it]. you are completely adorable. i look forward to getting to know you better. i hope your headache passes soon."
Oops. So, why is it that people I don't like all that much seem to be so taken by me? I sat down and tried to analyse the situation, because I'm kind of like that. If I did one very stupid thing yesterday it was probably that I was my normal, thoughtful self. Like I've said before, I'm not really one for chivalry. I didn't try to sweep this girl off her feet, but I did leave the house yesterday morning with a ziploc bag filled with damp paper towels, an elastic band, and scissors.
I remembered the girl (let's just call her Danielle) having told me a story about inheriting her grandmother's yellow rose bush, which only bloomed once after her grandmother's death, in the middle of the winter. So I knew yellow roses were special to her, and so at the end of the day I took her to this spot by the water where there are two yellow rose bushes and I cut a little stem for her.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Bleeding heart romantic sap, right? I confess. I'm such a hopeful romantic even at the least appropriate of times.
But I suppose I figured even after that date that everyone deserves to know that someone remembers the small things that matter to them in life. And even if I wasn't going to fall for her, at least I knew I could give her that much.
Though it looks like it might get me into a great deal of trouble.
At least I know I've brought it all upon myself.
-N
p.s. I've posted that photo of the little boy above because he makes me insanely happy. That funny face is my favourite cousin's cute little mug, and I took the photo when he was very little. I haven't seen him in ages, and he's growing up fast. His ability to make me smile began when he was less than a year old, and it has never ceased to amaze me. So I'm posting it because this little person makes me feel good.
