Friday, January 21, 2005
the reason I have no right to be cynical today
Yo.
So I went to talk to Professor Emperor today, really just to smooth things over with him and make sure there weren't any hard feelings (on his side, since mine remained for good reason). He asked me a few questions about when the practices were that I would have to attend in order to join the team. I answered, kind of wondering what he was up to. Then, to my utter astonishment, he ended up telling me that if I really wanted to join the cheerleading team, he would allow me to tape-record his lectures or borrow a classmate's notes, and complete reading assignments instead of actually SHOWING UP to class! I was speechless -- well, nearly.
I told him I would email the coach again and ask her what she thought. I sent the following perky message:
Dear _______,
Perhaps prudently, I am not getting my hopes up. But I like that all is not lost. I know the team has just lost two girl bases and so they might actually need me now. Plus I'm going to be a real keener. I'm dying to get out there and DO stuff! I'm sick of hearing Kun and the Boy talk about practices and cheer drama when I should be out there with them! I know that I can do it now and that makes it all the more frustrating!
I sent you some emails about a month ago about trying
out for the cheerleading team, but I had a class that
conflicted with the Tuesday night practices.
I've spent the last month trying to convince my
professor, the head of the History department, and
another professor in the department to allow me to
switch class sections so that I could attend
practices. Despite sending frequent emails back and
forth and actually attending the other class section
for a few weeks, my prof would not allow it in the
end. But I spoke to him in person today and he very
generously agreed to allow me to tape-record his
lectures and borrow a classmate's notes so that I
could join the team if I made it and I really wanted
to attend the practices.
While I realise it's mid-January now, I wanted to ask
you if you would still be willing to consider me for
the team.
I'm really dedicated and willing to work very hard and
will attend all your practices. I have been going to
optional practices and Stiz nights at _________
gymnastics in the past month and can do chairs, hands,
and extensions (with a bit of help from spotters!). I
have been working on a back-handspring, though that
may take a bit longer. I've also been taking capoeira
classes to improve my flexibility and gymnastics
skills.
Since it is my last term at UBC, I'm very keen to join
the team if only for a short time.
Please let me know if you can give me a chance to try
out. I would really appreciate it!
Thanks for your time.
Sincerely,
_______(ME)
By the way, if any of you are curious as to what competitive cheerleading looks like, or if you have any antiquated notions about it being a wimpy sport for cute girls with pom-poms, you must go to:
www.whatisprox.com
Even if you have only 5 minutes and are rushing to class or work or whatever, you should still check out the video called "pb Highlight Reel." That girl is my hero(ine). If you have more time, check out the Pita reel. If Amanda is the best base, then Pita is the best flyer. She's actually totally insane. And if you have lots of time, watch them all!
Pro-X is a bunch of crazy people who spend all their time either doing crazy stuff or filming the crazy stuff they do in an attempt to spread the word that cheerleading is a) not wimpy, b) not just for girls, and c) is a sport for real athletes. You'll find out once you watch the videos why I think they're crazy. Watch them, and then go back to the entry where I told you what I can do. And then be really impressed with them, not with me!
Has anyone ever noticed that the word HEROINE is so much suckier than the word HERO? Say them out loud a couple of times and you'll see what I mean. Hero has such punch, whereas heroine at best sounds wimpy and at worst sounds like a highly refined white powder from Afghanistan.
A little disclaimer about my categories of boringness entry: People should not be thinking that because of this I am constantly judging how interesting they are and am always sizing them up. If I like you, there's usually a better reason for it than that you feed me cookies (although that certainly helps) and I can tell you with absolute certainty that people who are genuinely boring DON'T like me! So if you like me, you're probably not boring. Plus, we should all remember that there are worse things to be than boring. Like, for instance, cruel.
When I think of all the names people have called me in my lifetime, and not just when I was a kid either (some of this was last year!), I tend to get a lot more irritated than when I think about the people I have met who have had nothing to say but didn't do anything to hurt me.
Some examples of the things that mostly fully-grown people have called me:
snob, manipulative, offensive, irritating, a walking encyclopedia/dictionary, flaky, dumb, egotistical, geeky, nerdy, self-centered, dorky, cold, slutty, dumb, catty, and a bitch (I HATE THAT WORD!).
People have actually called me all of these things, and often right to my face.
The bottom line is that if I appreciate you and respect you, it's usually simply because you're nice to me and you care. I have always had a knack for finding the good in everyone, but that doesn't mean that I like people who aren't worthwhile individuals. Most of the people who I'm willing to give the time of day to are people who I think have the genuine potential to do great things. Of course, not everyone with potential succeeds, which is partly why you have friends to catch you when you fall.
This is one instance where cheerleading is a good metaphor for life. Your spotters have to help you by catching you if you fall, which is why they have to always be watching and not distracted with their own stuff while you're literally putting your life in their hands. But other people have to help too. You can't stunt with a base who isn't trustworthy, just as you don't want to take risks in life or make commitments to people you don't trust. And, perhaps most importantly, you have to help too. You have to be in the right position in the air and you can't give up in the middle and go limp. You also can't do things so drastically above your skill level that you risk serious injury. Knowing your limits is important in life, too.
There's a great Amy Winehouse song called Help Yourself. It sums up quite nicely my feelings about helping out friends when they need you.
Okay. I had really better think about cleaning my room. It's getting to be a bit of a pit, and I'd rather not live in a pit.
Salutations.
-N
