Thursday, April 28, 2005

Once upon a time I was funny...

I unearthed my old blog from last year today, because Dag had inspired me by unearthing hers.

I realise I was a lot more honest and a lot wittier in my first blog, probably because so few people I knew read it and thus it would have been difficult for me to really offend anyone.

I did say some things that would probably offend a handful of people I know, which is why I don't yet plan to release it to the general public. I will, however, provide samples, cause I'm like that.

Here's what I wrote when my computer kept crashing:

"I don't understand my computer. Him and I have serious communication problems. I tell him to do things, and I tell him very nicely, and I try not to overwork him, and I make sure he's protected by firewalls and anti-virusi and all that stuff, and I give him lots of carrots, and sugar cubes, and wait...am I talking about my pet, or an overpriced piece of plastic? All I know about my computer is that since Norton cleaned out that virus, my mp3s and movies don't skip anymore. This is a good thing. But my computer inexplicably eats RAM like a voracious animal. I'll have NO open applications running and just Norton and ZoneAlarm running in the background and NOTHING will work. I can open a program and right away it will announce it's not responding (the insolent little bastard) and then when I try to click END TASK and send yet another useless error report, it tells me the ERROR REPORT is not responding, and then I tell the error report to end task, and then it asks if I want to send an error report about the error report that's not responding, so I say yes, and then that error report doesn't respond, so I end up sending an error report about an error report about an error report about a program that's not responding. Are you confused? Cause I am.

So...to all you geeks out there (and I use the word with nothing but boundless affection) what is to be done? Is it Windows XP (or Windows in general) that sucks ass? Do I need more RAM? Do I need to do fewer things with my computer despite the fact that it used to work fine with the same number of things running which now send it into crash catastrophe? What is to be done?"

Heh heh. I actually chuckle a bit at my own ineptitude.

I also wrote poems in my first blog. Amazing! I had totally forgotten about this one:

Boundless, a poem of sorts by Nome

I still dream of that beach
leading to the island where you were married
an endless stretch of rippled sand
a stream with birds
that called across the rocks
where I wrote the words to tell you
that you have left your mark
helped me to grow in thin soil
like the thorny branches of that island
helped me to understand that I control
the bird, that lies wounded in my hands
helped me to remember that
it's all up to me.

The waves that broke unflinchingly
on the rocks
the water that stretched to Japan
exposed the sudden realisation
that we could live outside
boundaries, beyond walls and restrictions

We could move forward
to a place where only love matters
love of the sunshine
and the sudden rain
the twisted tree and
downy moss
the quivering salmon
shining in the afternoon
and most of all
that soul to understand
that love without consequence
beyond age
beyond life
beyond death
eternal as nature
and boundless
as the sea.

I wrote it about my friend, who married a man a lot of people disapproved of. I fixed my grammar this time around, cause I'm like that.

Heads up forgottenmachine: I fully expect you to comment on that, since you keep asking me to write actual creative material requiring actual thought.

The Little Punk didn't much care for The Catcher in the Rye, but I think that was only because the print was too small and the lines were too close together. I wish Eminem would write a book. He'd read that for me.

Gotta go get Korean food. Never tried it before, so this will be like losing my virginity, only about a thousand times less exciting.

What a cheeky fool I am.

-N