Tuesday, June 28, 2005
My cousin's husband just sent me an email about a road trip my cousin is taking with her four young children in tow. It was a fairly straightforward and boring vacation summary email, until this paragraph, which I've got to say made me think more about zombies than anything else:
I fully expect that this summer will not only be a fantastic family vacation, but it will be a time where all of us grow stronger in our relationship with the Living God. In Genesis 22 Abraham came to the conclusion that God provides and more specifically that God provides exactly what we need perfectly when we put our trust in Him. I look forward to seeing my whole family all come to that same conclusion…
Did I mention that they're fundamentalists? It's odd how the grammar deteriorated in this paragraph, as though the writer was consumed by some sort of mindless ecstacy which made him forget to insert commas so that his poor hapless readers can stop to breathe which they need and more specifically so that they can perfectly stop to breathe.
Keep in mind that this was a mass email, the subject of which was supposed to be their cross-Canada holiday. But they just have to not-so-slyly work in a couple of references to their favourite subject of all time. I also have to chuckle at the idea of my sweet and exuberant six-year-old cousin coming to the conclusion that Genesis 22 is really where it's at. He's barely old enough to ride a bike.
I keep imagining the hand emerging from the grave in Night of the Living Dead. Night of the Living God!!! Be afraid, be very afraid...
From everyone's favourite little heathen,
p.s. my day was depressing so what the fuck else could I write?