Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Blood Sugar Sex Dentistry


For some reason I have
absolutely no energy today. I blame my breakfast. Toast and peanut butter just doesn't do it for me anymore. I'm too tired to go to the gym and that's really shitty.

My dentist's receptionist called me at 9:30 to confirm my appointment today, which OF COURSE I remembered. It was abundantly clear that she had woken me up because I pretty much sounded hungover and like a 45-year-old blues singer. I'm not either -- I was just tired.

I hate hate hate the dentist. Now, I realise that very few people probably adore the experience of modern dentistry, but I particularly dislike it. Blame my childhood dentist, who filled my cavities for years without properly freezing my mouth and later was involved in several lawsuits due to his general incompetence.

Today's experience was okay, in fact I'd go so far as to say it wasn't bad at all. The receptionist is nice and super-chatty, and so is the new dental hygenist. But there are few things more unpleasant than having someone scrape your teeth with little metal torture devices until your gums are bleeding, or clean them with this pasty green substance that has the texture of sand and the taste of toothpaste left too long in the sun. I'm also not big on all the sucking and blowing devices. Wrong context entirely. It's like that scene in Go Fish (terrible film, don't ever see it) where the director splices together shots of sex with shots of people cutting up onions and cooking dinner. Ugh. I think some things just were meant to be separate:

Sex ----------------------------- ----------------------------- Food
Dentistry ------------------------ --------------------------- Sucking and Blowing

That's the way it should be.

I sent Hayley a text message last night, just because. I never send text messages because it's hard to write them on my crappy little phone, and my cell phone plan doesn't cover them. But I sent her one because, let's face it, I'm a pretty nice girl. It read:

"Look at me texting! Whoa! Just thought I'd tell you that I had an excellent time with you this weekend, and still think you're 150% great. Love and happy thoughts, N"

OF COURSE I haven't heard back from her. And I don't think my message was exactly over-the-top corny either. It sometimes seems to me that being nice to people is less successful than being indifferent, or just being a bitch. I'm trying to cultivate good karma in the hopes that the good I send out will eventually come back to me, but I just don't know if it's working.

I'm starting to really agonize about getting a job and moving out. My dad has been in a bad mood all month because his job is stressful, and frankly, I don't think he much enjoys having my brother and I around all the time. That hurts. Becky offered me a job at the catering company she manages -- it's prep work in a kitchen, full-time, for 10 bucks an hour. I actually thought about taking it, but my parents of all people talked me out of it. It would be terribly monotonous and poorly paid as well. But I figure I need to do something, and soon.

I wish that people would give me more specific feedback about how I'm treating them. I want to know all the time if I'm being a decent human being or just a leeching jerk. I started doing this thing with Hayley where we ask each other our irritation level on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm surprised she's taken to it since it's a trick I stole from Curb Your Enthusiasm and I never thought she'd go for it.

Jon's girlfriend rather unceremoniously broke up with him last week, and he's now living out of his backback and sleeping at his friend's place in deepest, darkest Surrey. I wish I could offer him my couch, but I don't even have one to offer. I'd love it if I were anything even remotely resembling a responsible adult right now.

Back to Renny's question. What is your favorite toy and when are you at your best, playing with it?:

Well, she's about 5'1", blond hair, blue eyes, adorable smile, actual dimples, beautiful skin, wonderful lips, amazing body.......oh wait, are we talking about plastic here?

Staying far far away from modern dentistry, my favourite toy is probably the Rabbit. It looks like this, only mine's way cuter. I don't use it very often because it's not something I can do at night due to the fact that using that thing is like four shots of espresso straight into my veins before bedtime. It's strange, and fairly mechanical, and well, I drastically prefer the real thing.

Honestly, if I could have a satisfying sex life through mechanical objects, my life would be a helleva lot easier. But despite what they may tell you on Sex and the City, there's really nothing like having another human being present, and especially someone you love.

Blogger finally let me upload my photos, so here they are. Above left is a photo I took of a fantastic Maori folk singer from New Zealand called Mihirangi. Here's another, possibly even hotter photo. She performed at the folk fest along with a few other women, including Tanya Tagaq (below left), whose Inuit throat singing was nothing short of transcendental. She really chanelled the Earth up there, and I could actually feel every rocky piece of the Arctic tundra, the cry of the timber wolf, the howling of sled dogs, and the footsteps of the Arctic hare in every note. It was pretty incredible.

Tanya brought Mihirangi, as well as Sine Laum Lauritzen, a striking Danish singer from the band Zar, and Ndidi Onukwulu, (right) a Nigerian-Canadian blues singer on-stage to sing with her during her main stage set. On their own, each of these women were incredibly talented and compelling to watch. Together, they were nothing short of an unforgettable experience. The sound of their voices alone was enough to give me chills, and the energy of all of these stunning women onstage at the same time was almost overwhelming. At one point Tanya and Mihirangi were sharing the same microphone, close enough to touch noses, and it was truly one of the most beautiful and powerful things I'd ever seen.

Afterwards, Hayley turned to me and said "I feel like I've just had sex." It was one of the many times that weekend that she'd said exactly what I was thinking before I did. I said "how on earth could you be a woman and straight after that experience??" It's a real mystery. We had to laugh about that one.

That was the one part of the weekend I just absolutely had to share with you.

This is way too long, so I'll take my leave.

-N

by Nome at 1:51 PM
5 mews

    Welcome. This is the humble chronicle of my life & my thoughts on the world as I see it. If you know me in real life and want to keep my trust, PLEASE ASK BEFORE READING! I'm not accountable to you or to anyone else for what I say in these pages. Comments are much appreciated, but but insults and personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please respect privacy and anonymity - nicknames or pseudonyms only. This is my space to be an adult - kids should go elsewhere. Thanks, and enjoy.

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