Friday, September 22, 2006
An actual conversation I had last night via text messages with a young gentlemen I'm slightly acquainted with online:
Him: Hey what's up?
Me: Nothing much, just about to watch some Firefly. You?
Him: Hmmm, semi-drunk, really bored, and my oh look, my bed is empty.
Me: Dude. Story of my life.
Him: Well, you're not that far away.
Me: Are you propositioning me, young man?
Him: That depends - are you into it?
Me: I tend not to have sex with semi-drunken boys I've never met before, but thanks for the offer. I think we should probably meet while sober first.
Him: C'mon, we could just cuddle. It doesn't have to be sexual.
Me: Oddly enough, I don't cuddle with total strangers either. That's just another brand of intimate.
Him: Well, I'm not going to spend all night convincing you. Everything you've said is justified. I just thought it would be fun. It's been a while, and I miss certain things about it.
Me: So do I. But how about we sit down and have coffee first? I mean, how do you even know you'd be attracted to me? Plus, it's been an age since I was with a boy.
Him: True, true. Well, keep in touch. I'm going to go tame the beast now.
Me: Haha. Best masturbation slang ever. We'll chat soon. Have a good one.
Then this morning:
Him: Er, hope I didn't pressure you too much last night.
Me: One can only pressure so much via text messages, though you certainly tried. I forgive you, though. : )
Oh boys boys boys.
I'd like to say they're not predictable, but well....
I saw this one coming.