Thursday, September 14, 2006
Ruins
I feel like shit today, and I don't quite know why.
I had a lousy sleep, my mom is mad at me, and I am sad and angry with the world. Good news doesn't seem to excite me, and bad news is just more pessimism to add to the growing pile.
I can't seem to make anything better for anyone in my life, either because they're too far away or else because they simply won't let me. I just want to be able to make life better for someone I care about.
Life doesn't even have to be better for me - I would be quite happy just bringing a little joy into someone else's world. I wish I could take the pain away, even for a moment.
I just want to matter.
But I feel so incredibly small.
-N
