Thursday, January 19, 2006
Neighbourhoods will try to dream
while you and me we hold and lean
onto bodies slick and charged
together just one beating heart
all around us quiet now
we hear the leaves fall to the ground
morning light upon our bed
an ally while i catch your breath...
-Stars - Sleep Tonight
Well, it has been a busy few weeks, and in that time I've scarcely turned on my computer at all.
I have been working, working, working, listening to good music, watching movies, and spending time with Hayley. Strangely, I find myself feeling pretty happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. I have to give some credit to the girl.
New Year's Eve was fun. I had a long, eccentric, and slightly wild evening, spent partly at my parents' friends' place with a very game-but-shy Hayley in tow, and partly at another party with some of her friends. It was the first party I'd ever been to where straight people were a tiny minority of the assembled, and it made for a pretty diverse and fun crowd. As usual, I felt not exactly like I fit in, if only because no one knew who I was and I wasn't exactly advertising my orientation. The party was on the 11th floor of a huge highrise apartment downtown with a beautiful enclosed balcony and a view of the craziness of Granville Street at midnight. There was a lot of drinking, yelling, music, and girls getting topless and making out with each other. Good times were had by all. I drank enough to feel festive, but not enough to miss out on the brilliant people-watching.
Hayley seemed to have relaxed since I'd told her I liked her. Once we got to the party, she visibly came out of her shell, and became this crazy, adorable little ball of energy. She was more open and more affectionate, and she invited me back to her place at the end of the evening. We went for brunch the next morning and laughed and shivered in the rain and I kissed her under the cover of a store awning downtown before I ran to catch my bus.
We've been hanging out just about every week since. Every time I find out a little more about her, and I like her a little more. She is stranger and more neurotic and funnier and more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.
I feel a little like I'm waking up from a long sleep, and seeing the world for the first time. Yeah, I know that sounds silly, but there it is. It is nice to be happy again instead of just getting by.
Work is going fairly well these days, although I'm quite fed-up with working on cash and would really like to be on the floor full-time. I started helping Emma and Cris with their bookclubs two evenings a week, and that has been really rewarding despite (or perhaps even because of) the hard work involved. I feel like I'm doing something good for my friends and for the kids, and it's strangely enjoyable.
I haven't done much writing lately, and I found out recently that the wonderful coffee shop where our open mike is held every two weeks will be closing down, probably next month. The owner (who is a wonderful actress and a lovely human being called Dana) isn't making enough money with the place, and she's been forced to sell it. I was pretty sad about that since going to that event every two weeks was more or less what kept me writing. Plus places that embrace creativity without a lot of accompanying pretension seem to be increasingly rare these days. Now my thoughts are all over the place and I have very little faith in my ability to write anything good. Jack and I will have to find new places to read our writing, dream a little, and feel at home.
I'm trying desperately to save money to go to Europe in the spring and see all my friends. So far it's going okay. I've been much more frugal than I'm used to being. I plan to leave at the end of March or the beginning of April. It's a lot of planning and a bit intimidating, but I'm looking forward to it.
Grr...and now I have to go do laundry. How boring.
Till next time,