Tuesday, July 04, 2006
After extensive scientific study, I have concluded the following about cold showers:
Contrary to popular belief, they DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT (this time in bold) make you less horny.
But they do keep you relatively cool when it's a gazillion degrees outside and you have a soft spot in your heart for penguins and you have the same nickname as the capital of Alaska. I was definitely meant to live in a nice, temperate, coool climate.
The only thing worse than not getting any (okay, so there are a lot of worse things, like living through a famine in Sub-Saharan Africa, or hunting babies for sport, but bear [or bare] with me here), is not getting any when you have fond, if fuzzy, memories of the wild sex you had oh-my-god-was-it-really-only-three-nights-ago? Am I just really spoiled?
And to top it off, I have this strange scratch on my shoulder which stings when I poke it, and since I haven't been engaging in any contact sports but I do have a girlfriend with a penchant for the rough stuff, I can only imagine where I got it from.
The funny thing is, if our positions were reversed and I couldn't have sex unless I was drunk, I'd be having a serious identity crisis. I'd be questioning my sexuality. I'd be sitting around going "Am I actually into girls??" It would be ridiculous.
Anyway, I'm sure you're all terribly sick of this topic, as I am.
I should stop now.
AND Hayley unblocked one of her entries, and I read it. Shoot. Me. Please.
I feel guilty, and not just because I read it, but because of what it said. She is so so very sad and hurting right now. Am I doing the wrong thing by staying with her? Am I making everything worse? I think I will go crazy thinking about this.
Please please please don't let me fuck this up. I feel like I'm actually excellent at fucking everything up, even when I try so hard I lose track of what on earth it was I wanted in the first place.
I'm picking up the phone, and I'm calling her, and I have no idea what I will say.