Saturday, July 22, 2006

Nudity is Highly Underrated

The best part of being home alone is probably the walking around naked part. Or at least Carrie Bradshaw naked, anyway. [BTW: is brilliant, but you really only need to read the last two paragraphs].

Oh, and if anyone wanted to see my boxers, there they are. I suspect they're collectors' items, but I don't think I particularly feel like shooting the shit with other people who collect Playboy paraphernalia, so you won't be seeing them on Ebay anytime soon. Plus I think they're the height of kitsch and they're comfy and they make me a pretty bad feminist, so I'm keeping them.

I had a horrible sleep last night. Sleeping in this heat with a fan feels to me like sleeping during a warm hurricane. I hate the feeling of being blown away by a loud electrical object while sleeping. I didn't get to bed until 4:00, due to a combination of Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, and Aimee & Jaguar. Curse television and literature for keeping me up half the night. Actually, the real culprit is the coke I had at the movie last night. I haven't had coke in ages and it tasted like oversweetened swill and made me absolutely wired.

Once I did finally get into sleep mode, I was too hot, then too cold, then convinced I'd be blown to pieces by the fan, then haunted by horrible dreams. I had a dream that Hayley broke up with me on a bus that stopped at every stop like the Greyhound milk run, and I was totally devastated. I woke up, still shaken, and it took me quite a while before I realised it had actually been a dream.

I introduced Jon to my parents (and brother, and grandmother) the other night and passed him off as a boy. I figured, why not? Did he really want me to out him in front of my entire family, after all? I suppose I could have been like: "hey guys this is my friend Jon I know he looks like a boy and has a boy's name and wears boy's clothes but I think you should know that he doesn't have a penis or at least a real one anyway and (pause for breath) he's not actually biologically male but soon he will be because he's getting testosterone injections and soon he'll have surgery and then he will be A REAL BOY just like Pinocchio at the end of the movie." Besides, I passed him off as a boy just fine. My mom thinks he's adorable.

I will leave my friends 'outing' to them, should they desire it, and will invite Jon to our country place and let him either go incognito (which is a neat idea that reminds me a lot of comic books) or else tell all if and when he chooses to do so. My mother will freak out the least. She saw Transamerica, and liked it. My dad will be like "say WHAT? Hmmm....alright" And my brother will probably say "WHAT THE FUCK?!" as many times as you've ever heard an 18-year-old say such a thing, which is a lot of times.

I have so many boring and neat things to do today. In case you're interested, I really should:

1) Get the newspaper.
2) Make coffee, and a bagel.
3) Go to the gyme.
4) Return videos.
5) Go to the comic book shop and pick up the comic they've been saving for me, the hilarious Batwoman one that's causing all the controversy.
6) Go to the store and get groceries.
7) Call my grandmother / invite her over.
8) Go watch Morgan play some music downtown.
9) Meet up with the Haylinator.
10) Go see Sophie's show.
11) Attempt to get Hayley drunk and be generally nefarious.

....Okay, so maybe I shouldn't do the last one. But really, can you blame me for trying?? I'm only human.

Oh, and by the way, I have no idea how getting more hits will get me this phone, but when Raymi says go I guess it's probably a good idea to listen to her. So, tell your friends about my blog (provided they don't know me in real life!), link to me, lie about my site being pornographic, do whatever you must to get me more than 46 hits a day.

Thanks guys.



by Nome at 11:19 AM
10 mews

    Welcome. This is the humble chronicle of my life & my thoughts on the world as I see it. If you know me in real life and want to keep my trust, PLEASE ASK BEFORE READING! I'm not accountable to you or to anyone else for what I say in these pages. Comments are much appreciated, but but insults and personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please respect privacy and anonymity - nicknames or pseudonyms only. This is my space to be an adult - kids should go elsewhere. Thanks, and enjoy.

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