Thursday, August 24, 2006
Last night I was too sad and frustrated to sleep, so I got up, turned on my laptop and started typing the first chapter of my novel, which I'm hoping to refine and eventually send to an agent and a publisher. I'm crossing my fingers that it's not a total pile of drivel, and if it is I will edit the hell out of it until it isn't anymore. Anyone interested in reading it?
I was typing page 8 and it was nearly 4:30 in the morning when my brother crept through the door and silently into his room. The late arrival is nothing new for my brother, he's 18 and often stays out until 6:00 am at the beach or at his friend's house drinking bad wine and riding his bike drunkenly home afterwards. He does usually come say hi to me and chat for a while before he goes to bed if I'm still awake, but last night no one knocked on my door to break my concentration and I stumbled to bed just before 5:00 am.
What was really unusual was that this morning as I was perched on our lovely green sofa in the living room, eating my bagel and trying to jog myself into awakeness, he sauntered out of his room fully clothed and into the kitchen. I expressed surprise at his being up so early (it was 11:30 am) and already dressed.
He looked both ways before speaking to me.
"Can you keep a secret?" he asked.
"Sure," I replied, although writing things on the internet still constitutes secrecy in my little fantasy world.
He paused. "You really don't know what I'm going to say?"
I stared at him.
"No, obviously not."
"Uh...then can you go chill in your room for a few minutes?"
I figured it out immediately.
"Ohhhh," I said, and winked at him, "you sly dog!"
My breakfast and I scuttled obediently back into my room, where I hung out for a few minutes before he knocked on my door to announce he was "just walking her to the bus stop" and would be back in fifteen minutes. Haha!
Aw. My brother had a GIRL over. Three cheers for his Royal Boyness. This is strictly verboten in our household, but up until now it had been a non-issue for the Bro, who we've never known to have a girlfriend. My mother briefly considered that he might be gay, but I assured her that was ludicrous and my brother is, if anything, scarily heteronormative. Plus I'm sure she secretly thinks this family is gay enough as it is.
I had a really scary dream last night in which I found out that Dag had cancer and that it might not be operable. I was wandering through this lonely supermarket in the middle of the night trying to buy her something she could look at or read in the hospital, but I was too distraught to think and I couldn't possibly conceive of what would be an appropriate you-have-cancer-and-might-die kind of a gift. When I woke up I was grateful a million times over that it had been just a dream, and the picture above left looked even more beautiful to me this morning. I'm glad to have you, Dag.
I took that photo in the courtyard of a palace in Seville. She's reading one of the Chronicles of Narnia, in case you're interested.
Anyway, I'll finish off with the fun and interesting new stuff I found on the internet last night while I was bored and stuck at home.
1) Smart list: I love this list of A Queer Girl's Top Ten Gay Myths. I particularly like #3 and #10. Take note!
2) Controversial Advertising: Does this AIDS ad, starring everyone's favourite blonde starlet Gwyneth Paltrow, offend you? Make up your own mind before you read the comments here.
3) Silly and GREAT blog of the day: I'm in love with Paul and No Milk Please in the exact same way I'm in love with Jack from Will & Grace. Please read his International Porn Film Festival post and laugh yourself into a stupor the way I did, and then scroll to the bottom and watch the aforementioned Jack do his famous and most ridiculous Cher impression.
4) If you're in a cerebral kind of mood: Bitch Ph.D. is such an intelligent blog that it's almost too earnest for my taste. Don't go there if you don't plan to think -- a lot -- and argue with people who have some serious intellectual chops. I don't always agree with the content either, but I do really appreciate the ideas and I do really like the photo of the little girl giving the world the finger in the top left corner. You go, little girl. This post, called 40 Is the New Fuck You, makes a pretty good intro. Thanks to Bicyclemark for alerting me to her site in this post.
5) Feminism Is Not Dead: Not that you were looking for one, but Definition is one of the most intelligent and provocative feminist blogs I've seen in, well, forever. This girl tells it like it is, and I'm surprised at how often I agree with her. See if you agree with this take on abortion. Even I wasn't sure what to make of it, but it did make me think until my frontal lobe hurt.
6) Words Mean This: Want to know what people think the word 'queer' means in this day and age? That's right, words evolve, and I'm always trying desperately to keep up. Check out CNN.com being slightly open-minded. Cheers to Paul for the link.
7) We All Know You Just Want to Watch Girls Making Out: But if you are genuinely interested in queer media for girls, this site seems to be an excellent resource. And oh yeah, there's that scene from Cruel Intentions again, and yep, I still love to hate it.
And now I really have to get going. I have a bunch of fall clothes I need to consign today and I have to try to appear a little less scruffy and usual so they believe I'm a real trendster. Yeah right.
Enjoy the linkage, and tell me what you think.