Wednesday, August 23, 2006
The letter I will never ever mail
Dear Hayley,
Since I double-goodbyed-you several Saturdays ago when I retrieved my sunglasses from your bedroom I have realised the following things:
1) I left a bottle of vodka in your freezer. Smirnoff. Cheap shit from the liquor store where they always ask me for two pieces of ID. You can drink it all, and I hope it soothes those raging alcoholic genes of yours .
2) Moths are really very pretty even though I know you think they're gross. They don't buzz like flies, or whine like mosquitos, or bite, or burrow into your skin, or smell bad, and they're not slimy or mean-spirited. And dragonflies are beautiful, not gross, and I almost want to tattoo one on myself just to spite you.
3) I think it's beyond dumb that you're afraid of aliens.
4) Thanks for the heads-up on a street corner in the middle of the night. It helped me not at all.
5) The ambulance still comes if you drink an entire bottle clearly labelled POISON. Thus your poor warnings scarcely justify your indifference to my subsequent cardiac arrest.
6) Thanks for the mixed messages. Mix this: One part FUCK YOU + Two parts HAVE A NICE LIFE + A dash of bitters = A cocktail to break up for.
7) Heartache, pain, and grief will henceforth no longer be acceptable reasons for treating other people like shit.
8) When I told you you were dumb on the Skytrain I meant it.
9) Trees are even prettier when filtered through tears. Especially when they're waving in the warm August breeze and you are far far away and cannot hurt me anymore.
10) I'm so much tougher than you and I don't need to shave my head to prove it.
11) I am better off without you, but you will never be better off without me.
Love and bloody little heart bits,
N
[And this is the part where you all realise that I too can be terribly mean and unfair]
